Amazing: Archaeologists Announce Discovery of Ancient F-150 Burial

Archaeologists have announced this Wednesday that they have discovered an ancient F-150 burial site just west of Sudbury. The site, located off of an old dirt road, is believed to date to around the late 800s, and is among the most significant of its kind yet discovered. Located within the burial site was a man, perhaps a chieftain in his late 60s, dressed in a Tap-Out tunic and Monster Energy hat, a green and rusted F-150, and several tablets containing poetry from such bards as Bob Seger and an ensemble known as Rush.

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The location of the site

“It’s very exciting stuff because thusfar we’ve only had writings of such burials taking place – this is the first time we’ve actually found physical evidence of the practice” said Dr. Jonathan Grunbaum, head of the team which discovered the site. “Essentially, usually a leader of some sort would be buried with his F-150 – a common mode of transportation among the Northern Ontarians, so that it may provide transportation for him in the next life. In this case, he was also buried with his favourite poems so he may enjoy them as well, in this case the classics Turn the Page, Working Man, and Tom Sawyer – all of which were very popular at the time.”

However, according to Dr. Grunbaum, the find may be more significant than initially believed. “While it is of course wonderful to find concrete evidence of the practice taking place, a number of academics – myself included – have reason to believe this may provide evidence that the F-150 was more significant to this society than was previously thought. We have for years had reason to believe that the entire community would gather around these vehicles, often times just outside inns or other local eateries, and host small parties at the rear of the vehicle. Why they wouldn’t just go inside these establishments to get together, we still don’t fully understand. However, the fact that so much care was taken to preserve this sample seems to lend some credibility to this thesis.” Dr. Grunbaum concludes by stating that while more research is needed, the find has already changed the face of Canadian archaeology.

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