In a recent find in Egypt’s Valley of the Kings, archaeologists have made the exciting discovery of about 100-120 papyrus scrolls, about half of which contain explicit erotic artwork of the green M&M. The stash in question was discovered in a heretofore hidden chamber within Amenhotep III’s tomb. Curiously, the artwork was stored alongside sacred spells meant to protect the Pharaoh in his journey to the afterlife.
Dr. Jukka Heikkinen, the leader of the expedition in question, explains: “Believe it or not, smut like this is not exactly uncommon to find drawn on papyri – ancient Egyptians, like the people of today, produced and consumed such works quite regularly. What is remarkable however, is the craftsmanship put into these particular papyri, suggesting the work of a royal scribe, likely a commission for Amenhotep III. Furthermore, given its location in his tomb, and especially alongside papyri meant to act as wards for use in the afterlife, we believe that it was intended for Amenhotep III to take his erotic artwork of the green M&M with him on his journey.”
The specifics of the papyri are perhaps too explicit to be described in detail here, but they have been called “the Egyptian Kama Sutra” and many of them also seem to feature the red and yellow M&Ms participating in the acts depicted as well. While remarkable in their own right, it appears to have been somewhat common in the ancient world for rulers to commission such works, as, for example, several carvings of Tony the Tiger were discovered in the tomb of Pacal the Great’s wife, Lady Tz’akbu Ajaw, which experts agree are “way too detailed, drawn way too muscular for her to say she just likes the character”.