Trudeau Aide Dr. Pestilence: “International Travel Must Continue”

Responding to criticism levelled against the Trudeau government by Ontario Premier Doug Ford, senior Trudeau aide Dr. Pestilence rejected suggestions to shut down international travel altogether during a press conference this Friday.

“Absolutely forbidden, out of the question. Just think of, ah yes, the economy” Dr. Pestilence was quoted as saying whilst clutching a staff surmounted with human skulls.

“Fools, think of the damage that would be done to international scholars. To be forced to discontinue their studies due simply to their precious, exotic strains, it is unfathomable. Yes, flights shall continue [minute long pause while Dr. Pestilence licks the dripping saliva from his lips]. There will be no further debate on the matter.”

When asked if he thought it hypocritical to demand Canadians remain in lockdown while allowing continued flights to Canada from countries rife with new and potentially dangerous strains of COVID, Dr. Pestilence was quoted as saying “Mere peons should concern themselves only with their mundane and worthless lives. You cannot possibly fathom the depths of my knowledge in such matters, be it plague or statecraft, fools” before casting a hex on the reporter in question, causing him to break out into bloody lesions and vomit rats before collapsing dead.

Prime Minister Trudeau was unavailable for comment, though he was seen descending into a fog filled stairway in Parliament in mysterious black robes.


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