In what’s proving to be a highly controversial move, city council has decided to go ahead with a proposal to expand the city’s now extensive network of bike lanes into the homes of Saultites. A spokesman for city council elaborates on the new plans:
“We’re simply asking those residents impacted by this change keep their doors open, preferably at least three feet wide, and keep the lane inside their home unobstructed. Don’t worry about anything else, the city will paint a clear path on the floor indicating where cyclists are permitted to ride.”
When asked what residents were to do in the winter, when open doors and windows will significantly cool a home, residents were advised to make use of bonfires maintained every three hours or so.
“We are also confident this will reduce the city’s skyrocketing break and enter incidents by downgrading them to simply enters. “
The Refuge of Refuse 