Getting Out of Hand: Junkie Steals Mayor During Live Interview

In the most brazen incident of drug-fuelled theft yet, an as of yet unknown thief has run off with Mayor Christian Provenzano during a live interview.

The Soo has seen a tremendous spike in crime this year, which is often linked to the equally huge spike in drug use.

The city is currently asking for any information available as to the Mayor’s current whereabouts, and is hoping to soon have the perpetrator swiftly arrested and then released.


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