Looking For a New Place in the Soo? We’ve Got You Covered!

Sault Ste. Marie might be a small town, but that doesn’t mean it’s lacking in real estate, ripe for the taking! Here’s some of our top picks for this month:

  1. Lovely 1 Bedroom Apartment Near Bus Terminal & Station Mall – $1, 025 per month

This quaint single bedroom apartment is located near almost all of your potential needs, from transportation to shopping. Running water and termite free! Large, constantly screaming man next door will always keep you entertained. As an added bonus, if he smells copper on you and steals it (which he will), the value of the stolen item will be halved and deducted from that month’s rent! A win-win!

2. Expertly Furnished Room Near College – Students Only – $750 per Month

A shared apartment with fifteen other tenants, located conveniently near Soo College and within walking distance of many restaurants and Metro. Previous tenant starved to death inside the walls directly behind headboard of bed. Body is miraculously well preserved! You’ll never sleep alone again! On site laundry included.

3. East End Basement Maze – As Many Bedrooms as You Can Find – Single Payment of $1200

Located near the always gorgeous Algoma University campus, this constantly shifting, fog filled labyrinth is the perfect residence for someone who loves variety. Simply follow the sounds of the chiming bell to find what might be your bed. Doorways seal and rooms shift every hour, so there are currently an unknown number of tenants sharing this prime piece of real estate. They say the distance one must travel to locate their room is dependant on the sins one has committed in life. Utilities not included.

4. Bed of Hypodermic Needles By the Bridge – Absolutely Free

Exactly what it says on the tin! This pile of hypodermic needles is absolutely free to lay on! While there is no rent to speak of, it must be noted that many of these needles are likely HIV positive, and around this part of town, might makes right, so expect to fight for your right to sleep here.

5. Quiet, Mature Tenant Sought For Spacious and Luxurious West End Iron Lung – $1995 per Month

An elderly widow is seeking a tenant that is mature and able to keep their noise level at a minimum while occupying her late husband’s old iron lung. Must vacate the house every Sunday at dinner time so as to not disturb her family during their quality time together. Includes a plug in fan on a nearby table. Laundry is located on site, though usage is forbidden. Utilities neither provided nor included for the tenant, though the bill must be covered for the landlord.

And there you have it! With so much to choose from, let no one say that the Soo is lacking in its fair share of dream apartments! Better grab them quick, because they’re not going to remain available for long!


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