Bees, my brothers, have you fallen ill? Have you all gone mad? What is the sickness which poisons your hearts and clouds your minds? Is it desperation which causes brother to turn against brother, in an act of mindless violence? Verily, I have long believed it is only the world of man which grows so putrid with greed and bloodshed. Evidently, so too has the insect kingdom fallen victim to such vices. But I digress.
For years I have devoted my life to the preservation of the bee race. I have been among the most vocal of supporters, and most generous patrons of our six legged friends. I have warned my fellow man time and time again of the dangers the extinction of beekind poses to our modern world. Arguably the crux of my life’s work has been this single cause – the desire to see honey flow freely for future generations. And yet, in spite of my indefatigable efforts, my mind is spinning and my vision blurs, for my life long allies have turned on me.
Some three days ago I was distributing Save The Bees shirts to those who would grant me an audience – free of charge, I should add – when the dagger entered my back. Like Caesar as his flesh was torn by the many daggers of those traitorous senators, was my body also subjected tot he cruel barbs of my lifelong friends and allies. Dozens of bees, whom I hailed as friends, ambushed me at my weakest, plunging their painful stingers into me. What is the cause of this betrayal? For what purpose do you discard our years of friendship? Is it possible you were all as a winged Judas from the very beginning?
Twice have I attempted to parley with you, to no avail. I have approached your hives, attempting to communicate to your queen directly through my body movements – a language I know you understand, and yet twice have I been rejected and brutalized for my desire to return to the peace and prosperity of our past alliance. It would seem I have been a fool all these years, used and discarded, now that my usefulness to the bee crown has expired. Should my former allies succeed in extinguishing my life, know this – the evil that these bees do will live on after them; the good I have done, it seems, will be buried with me. Alas, it is only a matter of time before these scoundrels set themselves upon my face and ass yet again – heed my warning, lest you encounter the same fate.