Humiliating: Make-A-Wish nearly duped into recovering True Cross by rogue cardinal disguised as dying child

A major scandal has rocked the Make-A-Wish Foundation, well known for their charitable work fulfilling the wishes of terminally ill children, after it has been revealed that what was previously thought to be a devout young boy dying of pancreatic cancer, whose last wish was the recovery of the True Cross, was in fact rogue Italian cardinal Giacomo Romagnese. The cardinal, known for his diminutive stature, easily tricked those involved into believing him to be a 10 year old child.

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Vatican spokesmen have denounced his actions. “His Eminence, Giacomo Cardinal Romagnese acted without the consent or knowledge of His Holiness Pope Francis I, for which his actions are condemned in the strongest terms.”

The Foundation is allegedly nearly bankrupt after hiring a host of mercenaries and procuring supplies to embark on the trek to locate the True Cross. “We can assure everyone that the foundation is in a stable situation currently. Any armed personnel hired have since been dismissed without incident, and at this point we would like to put all of this behind us.” one Make-A-Wish spokesman was recorded as saying.

The location of the True Cross has long been a mystery, with the last sighting of at the very least a fragment disappeared after the defeat of the Crusaders by Saladin in 1187, and was reportedly last seen in Damascus. In addition to the daunting task of locating the True Cross, Make-A-Wish had also allegedly hired volunteers from the Teutonic Order and Knights Hospitaller, as well as a contingency of Turkic cavalry and Bedouin guides. The entire expedition would have reportedly cost 150 lbs of gold and 90lbs of silver, in addition to potentially risking war with the beleaguered forces of the Assadid Dynasty in Syria, in addition to its allies in the Emirate of Beirut and the powerful Khomeinids of Persia.

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