Exclusive: Michael Moore working on new documentary about goblins that loosen screws in his chair

Documentary fans, today’s your lucky day! Famed director Michael Moore, known for his films Bowling for Columbine and Fahrenheit 9/11 is once again exploring contentious issues in America today, aiming to expose yet more diabolical conspiracies in his upcoming film tentatively titled America’s Loose Screws: The Chair Goblin Menace. Moore had the following to say regarding what may be his magnum opus:

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“I was complaining about how often I tumble out of my chair to a friend of mine, and he told me the same thing happens to him regularly. If that weren’t weird enough, said friend is also a thorn in the military-industrial complex’s side. So I started contacting other well known American free thinkers and I found they all had the same issue. It doesn’t take a genius to put the pieces together here.”

The groundbreaking documentary, which has already won several accolades, consists of about 150 minutes of raw, uncut footage of Moore sitting down in his chair, only for it to collapse under his weight as he rolls off into the distance screaming. Allegedly, though we won’t spoil it, Moore may or may not have failed to capture any footage of any of these “black-op chair goblins”, he insists they are behind his misery. Audiences can look forward to becoming enlightened by late April.

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