Children can be a real handful, but for Franklin and Maria Gutierrez, that’s an understatement. Their 5-month old son, Tyler, has not only developed the ability to speak with the skill of an adult, he’s taken to calling himself al-Muqanna and has commanded the Williams, Arizona couple to begin the construction of a massive tower in their backyard. And you thought your kids were fussy!
“Well, it certainly came out of left field” explains Maria. “We were so happy to hear his first words, ‘mama’ then ‘dada’. And then a day or two later he said ‘Fetch for me a cloth so I may shroud the opulence of these eyes that have gazed upon the face of God’ and then ‘Build for your prophet a tower to pierce the sky upon a foundation of your feeble mortal coils’, and I just thought to myself, well what the heck? But he’s our little guy, so Franklin and I have been working on the tower for him since then”.
“It’s hard work out here in the desert, but it’s good exercise, and it makes my son happy, so why not?” Franklin is quoted as saying. When asked about what else his son has to say, Franklin noted that “He actually talks a lot, but most of it is just babbling about some “City of the Pillars” and long discourses of theology, I guess. The little tyke’s got a lot of energy, that’s for sure.” The tower in question is little more than a foundation thus far – Tyler, or al-Muqanna insists the tower can only stand if “ten by three slaves contribute their own cadavers so the tower may stand for all of time” but his parents so far have only chuckled at the idea. “Well, he’s just a kid, and even if he’s a little different with his wispy, ethereal voice, he still has a bunch of crazy ideas about burying labourers alive, and growing out of these ideas are all just a part of growing up.” The tower is expected to be finished within the next few centuries.