Bennō Sapporo DESTROYS Leftist Daimyo with MATCHLOCKS and CAVALRY

ben-shapiro

Famed Daimyo Bennō Sapporo utterly decimated his leftist rival Cenku Uesugi’s forces in a stunning ambush this Friday. Sapporo, who hid his arquebusiers in nearby forest, ambushed Uesugi’s army and annihilated it with a devastating cavalry charge.

The famed Daimyo, known for his clan’s motto “Bushido Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings” had been locked in a heated rivalry with the young Cenku Uesugi for some time now, dating back to Uesugu’s public attacks on Sapporo and his clan, and his refusal to debate Sapporo in a discussion moderated by the Emperor.

The Diminutive Daimyo has shown that what he lacks in height, he more than makes up for in tactical prowess. Supporters of Uesugi claim that Sapporo had an unfair advantage in the battle, as being considerably smaller than the rest of his troops, he could easily avoid missile fire against both himself and his trusty pony. Nevertheless, the cunning warlord continues his march to Kyoto in a bid to limit the powers of the Shogunate.

Friday’s battle is but the latest in a series of setbacks for “big-bakufu” Daimyos, occuring not long after Mitchuhide Akechi forced Date Feinusteinō to commit seppuku after allegedly slandering one of Mitchuhide’s courtiers.

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