TRAGEDY STRIKES: Bodybuilder shrivels into husk after drinking pre-workout shake post-workout

VENICE, CA – Harold Stark, an aspiring bodybuilder has tragically died after reportedly drinking his pre-workout shake post-workout, causing him to shrivel down to skeletal proportions.

Friend and fellow athlete Francis Gonzalez was there when it happened. “I was spotting him earlier, and after we were done [our workout] we sat down to take our shakes. I thought something was off but before I could say anything to him it was too late. It looked like something out of The Mummy or something.”


gym mummy
The remains of Mr. Stark


This is the second fitness related fatality to strike Venice in recent weeks after an Instagram model died of plague for what many allege was her neglecting to post a paragraph long inspirational caption on one of her selfies, a tremendous sacrilege among the fitness community.

While professionals encourage everyone to maintain an active lifestyle, they do warn that certain precautions must be followed. “You gotta make sure you get a good amount of rest, don’t overdo it, and remember to burn an offering at the gym’s altar before your workout. My buddy forgot one silly little thing and look what happened to him. I just hope others learn from him, so his death wasn’t in vain.”

Stark’s desiccated cadaver is due to be burnt upon a pyre of egg and chicken, “so his spirit may know rest and plentiful gains in the gym to come”.


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